Episode 8 Recap: The Booby Monster is Coming – Badda-bing!

September 16, 2011 § Leave a comment

Viktor's 2nd place look

It’s a rare occasion for there to be so many heterosexual men on Project Runway, so it’s an awkward reminder for us to hear just how much straight men love boobs. Heidi informs the designers that they would be designing for a client, husbands and boyfriends, who want to design looks for their significant others. Some of the men, especially Bert’s client Anthony, LOVES boobs. In fact, he loves them so much, that he likes to “motorboat” them (this means to put your face in between them and blow as you would blow a raspberry on a child’s belly button). This highlights an essential difference between straight men and fashion designers. Designers – especially gay male ones, and especially Olivier – hate boobs. “Those boobs to me are trouble,” says Olivier about the wife’s “Double D” situation. At Mood, he asks Tim, and then the female cashier, “What does Double D mean?” Olivier voices what many designers think but do not necessarily say out loud (as it is unwise to alienate your primary clientele), “I just want them to be flat.” To designers they are floaties that get in the way of art! and design! Olivier just wants to dress anemic, flat-chested size 0 waifs. Well, this is the everyday woman challenge, Olivier, and models do not reflect the real world.

The designers consult with the husbands/boyfriends, who really just want their wives/girlfriends to look super bangin’. Bert’s client, Anthony, the one who motorboats the mannequin, says, “You know the Cookie Monster? I’m the Booby Monster!” Obviously he wants Bert to make a dress that shows DA GOODS. Then the wives and girlfriends come in and lay down the law. Otherwise, the other designers are mostly left with vague directions like, I really like pink! (Bryce’s client) and I want to look like Barbie! (Laura’s client). Meanwhile Olivier, who hates designing for real people, is quietly having a nervous breakdown as he deals with clients who “talk back” to him. So how do they fare on the runway?

The Good

The designers again exhibit their competency as ready-to-wear designers. We thought the clear winner was again, Viktor (as we’ve often thought in the past), who made a gorgeous teal blouse that is sheer at the top and high-waisted grey skirt with a mustard yellow panel at the hem. He accessorized her with an adorable clutch in the same mustard yellow fabric. Overall, the ensemble looked like it belonged in a grown-up Williamsburg closet. Granted, he got, as Michael Kors said, “the most fashion obsessed couple,” but we don’t think that that should have cut against him.

Ultimately, the win went to Joshua who made a little black dress with lace trim at the collar that made a deep V on the back. The skirt had bounce and twirled along with her down the runway. The judges praised Joshua’s restraint. Nina Garcia says, “Very good job in editing” and that the dress “highlighted everything that was beautiful in this woman’s body.” Heidi says, “I’m shocked that you did not bedazzle her!” Michael comments that she looks like “a modern Grace Kelly.”

While Olivier may have been crass at expressing his disgust at dressing women with breasts (or fat people for that matter), we’d like to note that all three of the “top” looks were on thin, relatively small-breasted women. The judges praised both Joshua and Viktor for accentuating their clients’ tiny waists. They undoubtedly looked fantastic, but how much of their proximity towards “model” figures aided in creating fashion-forward looks for them?

The Bad

Bert's straight man friendly look

The judges slam Bert and Anthony Ryan for making safe, boring looks. Heidi called Anthony Ryan’s red v-neck dress “super safe and super boring.” Michael says the red trim at the top makes her look like a “cheerleader sailor child.”

As for Bert’s baby doll dress that showcased the puppies, Heidi shouts, “Badda Bing!” The dress hits all of Nina’s pet peeves: “tight, short, shiny.” Heidi, of course, loves this. “I have that problem too!” she shouts. The couple also doesn’t see this as a problem. Maybe Nina needs to watch the Jersey Shore to expand her cultural references?

The Ugly

Bryce complains at the beginning of the episode that he is the only designer left not to have won a challenge. It’s fairly clear to us, the viewers, that this lament is fairly unwarranted and most likely signals Bryce’s demise. True to form, his ill-fitting bubblegum bridesmaid dress was a disaster. We didn’t agree with the judges that the Pepto Bismol color was nice. We do agree with them that the fit and craft were incredibly unflattering. The seams puckered, the dress crumpled as she walked, and the back gaped. The judges hate on the giant pockets. Michael says, “It looks like you went to the buffet table and you put a lamb chop in one pocket and a beer in the other.” We’re glad that Michael didn’t feel the need to hold back in front of a “real person” either.

Next week: Another team challenge! Oh noes!

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