Project Runway Recap: Heidi Klum Will Pee on That Dress

August 5, 2011 § Leave a comment

(l-r) Looks from Anthony Ryan, Alexander McQueen (F/W 11), and Oliver

The episode begins, as usual, with some fallout commentary from the last episode. Anya is understandably ecstatic that this design thing is working out for her (it turns out she can sew!). A dejected Josh shares, “I’m not trying to win this challenge as much as I’m trying to get by,” which is almost always a guarantee of making the bottom 3.

We learn that this is our “unconventional materials” episode and Tim ushers the designers to Petland where they scramble for hamster bedding, dog beds, aquarium pebbles, and other odds and ends that probably smell awful. Bert admits from the outset that he’s taking the day off, and Tim warns him that the judges will look poorly on his choice of very fabric-y looking materials. Bert pouts a bit and explains, “I just don’t want to do it…I’m leaving the clown stuff to the other designers.” We worry about what this bodes for Bert’s future as the challenges are likely to only get crazier.

In the workroom, most designers are going the gluing-shit-on-muslin route: hamster bedding, rabbit bedding, feathers, bird seed, etc. It seems like a rather conventional way of using unconventional materials. We also get some backstory on the contestants. Olivier is from Columbus, Ohio and moved to London when he was 16, which makes us question whether he’s faking his accent or not. Laura declares that she has been shopping at Neiman Marcus since she was in the “single digits” and therefore has good taste. She makes a circular skirt out of a dog cone, and we get our first peek-a-boo-ass of the season as the model gives us a half-moon. I guess that answers the question of whether or not the outfit is “classy or assy.” She eventually nixes the dog cone and puts together a decent, though boring, cardboard skirt. Meanwhile Bert sings, “I have immunity, doo-da, doo-da” as he stitches hot pink bird cage netting over a black dress constructed from a dogs bed. How do the other designers fare on the runway?

The Good

Olivier is the winner! Our darkhorse pick from last week is now a frontrunner. Olivier crafted a simple, beige-tone look with a top made from a dogs bed to resemble shearling. The skirt, constructed from rabbit and hamster bedding, had a nice ombre effect and dramatic shape. He accessorized with a thin clear belt (plastic tubing) and stuck bits of bedding in the model’s eyebrows to echo the texture in the skirt. It was a move the judges disapproved of, but we thought was a fun, McQueenesque touch. Overall, the look was modern and fashion-forward. (He also gets extra points from us for referencing the fur vest trend we recently wrote about).

Anthony Ryan’s “human bird feeder” was a close runner up. The judges loved the texture the bird feed made on the dress, especially at the neck, where weirdly feather-like sunflower seeds climbed toward the chin. While Heidi was insistent about Anthony Ryan’s being the best (even telling him that his was her favorite after she declared him “safe”), Nina Garcia thought that the length was too short, and thus, not elegant. In a clear reference to the Mondo debacle last season, Michael Kors says, “Here we go again!…I’m going through man-o-pause!” Oh Michael, you slay us. Michael Kors rightly notes that both Olivier and Anthony Ryan’s outfits look as though they came from the same collection. We agree and would go so far to add that they both clearly draw inspiration from Sarah Burton’s F/W 11 collection for Alexander McQueen, her first as head designer, that was full of lovely pheasant feathers and high collars in white and beige.

This means our dark horse now is Viktor, who made the black-and-white summer dress last week, and this week made a sexy (maybe a little short), purple bandage dress made from puppy pee-pee pads. On the runway, the dress actually looked like a dress, and looked like it could have been a part of Valentino’s Spring 2010 couture collection, which showed tight, short dresses in bright colors. Even though he has yet to make the top 3, we think he’s one to watch.

The Bad

Overall, there wasn’t a lot of bad in this episode. (The premier had us a little worried). The clothes in the safe pile like Laura’s top made of weaved leashes and Anya’s colorful twisted rope halter were cute and wearable. We didn’t even find Fallene’s”autumn harvest festival” look to be that offensive. What was unflattering was Fallene’s submissive behavior during the crit; she essentially “agreed” with every jab leveled at the outfit. Come on Fallene, have some backbone.

Bert clearly was going to coast, and the results were pretty terrible. His look was not only boring, but basically looked like a very unsexy teddy. Bert, you’re on television and nobody likes a slacker.

Josh C., our chubby Peter Sarsgaard, found himself in the bottom three yet again. He made a halter from an umbrella and a skirt out of reptile cage lining. The halter top both literally and figuratively features the boobs (there are puppies on them), allowing Michael to get a proper zinger in: “The way the top is cut makes you look like you’re nursing triplets.” Guest judge, Stacey Bendet, designer of Alice + Olivia, says the model looks like a co-ed at a local bar. Overall, the judges slam Josh for being boring and going the safe route by only using conventional materials. He seems like a nice guy and Tim gives him a soothing hug and words of encouragement as he sobs into Tim’s shoulder.

The Ugly

Bryce’s Depends dress was so terrible Heidi herself declared it “the worst.” He made a voluminous, tissue skirt out of the puppy pads and a top that looked like an ill-fitting sports bra. The whole look was in an off-powder blue that recalled both Disney’s Cinderella and hospital gowns. We’re still confused as to why this look didn’t get auf’ed.

Next week: STILTS! And… Kim Kardashian?


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